A New Normal

First of all I'd like to say a huge thank you to everyone who has left comments on my recent posts, sent emails and messages, and beautiful cards, they've all been so very much appreciated. I've been overwhelmed by the kindness of my friends here in Blogland, some of whom I've met in the past and others who I've never met in person but I count as very special friends nonetheless. New friends and old friends, you've all been so very kind.

Dad (bent down behind the wicket) playing cricket with his brother, George.

I can't believe that in a little over a year I'm here again with the death of another parent. This time it's been quite different to how it was when my mum died. For a start, there's the coronavirus in our midst and although it hasn't made things harder,  it has definitely changed the way things have to be done. It was quite easy to make an appointment at the register office when my mum died and we could take the death certificate away with us there and then but at the moment, the death has to be registered over the phone and the certificate posted out, so it was over a week until we received my dad's death certificate which has held us up with other admin jobs. When my mum died we had my dad to look after and I realise now just how much time we were devoting to him. It gave us a focus in those early days, and the weeks and months beyond. We've spent a lot of time caring for both my parents over the last few years. Although we dealt with the admin for my mum, it was nothing compared to everything we need to do now with money and property involved. It's going to be a long job.

Dad did his National Service in the Royal Marines.

We had the funeral on Friday. Unfortunately, because of coronavirus restrictions, we were only allowed ten people in the chapel at the crematorium and a further ten people were able to listen to the service through speakers outside. I was hoping that with the easing of Lockdown Daniel and Jasmine would be able to make it but they're being extra cautious as Jasmine is in a high-risk group, and I don't blame them one bit. It wasn't as though we could have a gathering after the funeral, we'll do that at a later date, so it would have been a case of them travelling home just for the service and it didn't seem right asking them to put Jasmine at risk for that. I know my dad would understand. The service was lovely though, we chose some music which I know my dad would have approved of, and although intimate, the service was a fitting tribute to him. The only thing which really spoilt it was how the ten chairs were laid out in the chapel, each and every one of those chairs were spaced at a distance so even people from the same household weren't allowed to sit together. Eleanor was so upset the whole way through the service and there was no one by her side to comfort her, how awful is that.

Me and my dad at Appletreewick. My love of the Yorkshire Dales started early.

We've received some beautiful cards and touching phone calls from family and friends who knew my dad well. I always enjoy hearing their memories of him and anecdotes. It's comforting to know he was so well thought of.

On holiday in Skegness. My dad loved his holidays.

It hasn't been easy for my dad over the past year and a bit since my mum died. As well as suffering from ill health, my mum's death hit him so hard. They'd been married for sixty three years and I doubt he'd have ever got over losing her even if he'd lived another sixty three years. It was so sad to see how much he missed the wife he was devoted to. It was very hard seeing my dad suffer in his final days, his death was not the one I would wish for anyone, he suffered so much pain. I'm thankful that I got to see him before he was totally out of it though and I was able to tell him that I loved him.The hospital were very kind. There's so many restrictions around visiting in place because of coronavirus but they were very accommodating. We were worried that we wouldn't get to see him before he died but we were able to spend quite a lot of time with him in his final days, and though it was distressing for us to see how much he was suffering, I was glad that we could be there.

Posing with one of the many crown green bowling trophies he won over the years.

My dad was 87, he lived a long and happy life but the only thing I can think about at the moment is the terrible death he had. I know this is something I'm going to have to get past but it's so fresh in my mind that it's very hard at the moment. It's also difficult dealing with the fact that I've now lost both my parents. I know I've been very lucky having them for the time I have, they both got to a good age and they had the pleasure of not only seeing how their children's lives panned out but they also got to watch their grandchildren grow up, I know some people aren't so fortunate.

Mum and Dad celebrating 50 years of marriage back in 2006. They were married for a total of 63 years.

Mick has been working from home since the start of the coronavirus pandemic so he's been here to help and support me these last few weeks. His work, yet again, have been brilliant allowing him all the time he needs to take, but he's been working in between. It makes it so much easier him working from home. Although there's still so many things to do, clearing my dad's flat and still so much admin to take care of, it's time to start getting back to some kind of normal, though it's going to be a very different normal to the one I know. We spent such a lot of time looking after my dad, especially since my mum died, life is going to be a far cry from the one I've been used to over the last few years.