Monday 14 June 2021

A Year Without My Dad

It's a year today since my dad died. It seems like only yesterday in some ways but then I think of everything that has happened since then and it seems a long time. It's funny how the same amount of time can seem to pass at different speeds.

My dad's death has been a different experience from my mum's, mainly because after my mum died I was still taking care of my dad and so I couldn't slow down, take it easy, or even grieve properly, and I think I've done some of my grieving for my mum as well as my dad in the past year. I miss them both so very much.

We'll visit the memorial garden at the crematorium today and take some flowers to lay at the memorial stone we have for my mum, dad and sister.

I'd like to buy a rose bush in his memory like I did for my mum but I've only just hit on the one I'd like so I shall be ordering it soon, I'll tell you more about it when it arrives. 

26 comments:

  1. Thinking of you today Jo it's a lovely idea to buy a rose bush in your dads memory, I always plant Sweet Williams in memory of my dad and I did have the William Shakespeare rose in my previous garden planted specially for him but had to leave it behind. Sending hugs for you today.xx

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  2. Sadly we never stop missing our parents, mum passed almost 16 years ago, I would love to see her and get a cuddle.

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  3. I agree time is a strange phenomenon. Scientifically and mathematically the same but us humans can experience it differently.

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  4. Gosh Jo that year has flown. No time at all to grieve but as you say has gone quickly. A rose bush for your Dad is such a lovely idea. I'll look forward to seeing it. Jean. x

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  5. Goodness me, Jo. A year already? Hugs to you. 💕

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  6. It was the same for me when my mum died - I was concentrating on how my dad felt and so when he died it hot me full force. My dad died 27 years ago and my mum 33 years ago and I still grieve for them both. I guess it's just not as raw and is something that I now live with.

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  7. Lovely post and picture. xx

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  8. Only when we lose them, we fully realize that our parents were the only people that loved us unconditionally, and that revelation makes us miss them terribly.

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  9. Sending peaceful wishes your way. It's hard to lose one parent, but to lose both so close together is almost unbearable.

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  10. Lovely to have roses in memory of your parents. I've got some of my Mum's ashes in the pot of a camellia....oddly enough, it's not done very well, I keep saying she's poisoning it! (I am kidding, I hope that's not too macabre or poor taste, I don't mean to offend anyone). We all know we'll lose our parents sooner or later, but it doesn't make it any easier when it happens.

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  11. These anniversary days are tough aren't they. Thinking of you today x

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  12. What beautiful roses, a perfect tribute to your dear family.

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  13. Thinking of you and your family today.

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  14. My Dad died 6 and half years ago.A massive hole left behind for all of our family.He was such a big happy person and we miss him daily.I am sending my love and thoughts to you.I know it is a hard time.But be comforted in knowing,that they are with you all the time.Just look for it and you will know,Best Wishes,xx

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  15. I think we all miss family members when gone, so you are not alone in that. My Dad has been gone 7 years tomorrow. Take care Jo, stay safe & big hugs from down under.

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  16. It's 16 years this year since I lost both my parents and I remember the details of each day just as if they were yesterday. I don't think we ever really get over losing them, it's just that the grief feels less acute as time passes.

    It's strange but just recently I've realised that over the last few months I've often said things in conversation with my son that my mum said to me at some time - in my head I can always hear her voice saying them and it just makes me wish she was still here.

    A rose bush in memory of your dad is a lovely idea and I hope you manage to get the one you want.

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  17. Thinking of you.
    A rose bush is a lovely idea.

    All the best Jan

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  18. Grief is so different for everyone. And each loss is different for me too. I barely miss my father. My mom, I talk to daily. Today I was driving alone, and decided when I was listening to a Lady Gaga song to mimic my mom smoking. I have never had a cigarette. But I watched her light, puff and smoke cigarettes. We knew they were bad for her. But she LOVED them . Nothing compared. She never was able to quit until she got dementia. When I needed to talk to her when she was alive out of my father s hearing reach, I'd say, "Mom you want have cig?
    and then we had to go out to the porch because my father forbade the poor woman to smoke in his house. HIS house.

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  19. Thinking of you dear Jo. Sending you love.

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  20. Time is such a strange thing - I think most of us feel the same way as you. The ability to grieve is so important & I'm glad that you have been able to do so in your own time over the past year. XO

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  21. Thinking of you Jo, I'm sure it's been a difficult week. xx

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  22. Ahhh, it's so hard to adjust to losing your parents. I feel for you. Hugs.xxx

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  23. It's a great idea to plant a rose bush in memory of your parents. I'm sure it's been a difficult week for you. Take care x

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  24. Roses are beautiful and a rose bush is a lovely way to remember your dear ones. Thinking of you Jo.

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